Day 5: Deleting Tinder and Bumble

I’m leaving it too late to write the daily blog. Tired now. Excuse my likely scariness.

I slept pretty badly last night actually.  I couldn’t really get to sleep. I fell into that trap of watching endless YouTube videos. It leaves your mind crazy stimulated and its hard to switch off. Theres always something else you can be feeding your brain with.

My fix at the moment are interviews with Richard Burton. Don’t know him? Google him. Fascinating character. I think I see some of me in him. Minus the incredible acting ability, accent and rugged good looks. Well maybe I have the looks.

It’s interesting how loneliness kicks in the later the evening gets. Thats another thing that keeps you off. Not wanting to turn off the light and just be with you. Just why is that? Its obvious I suppose.

So I woke up slowly, and went for my morning ritual at my local diner where I had 2 hard boiled eggs and whole wheat toast. I always go to that particular diner because there is usually a busty waitress who I can’t help but look at. She can’t speak a word of English though. She’s reminds me of Sofia Vergara. Sadly she wasn’t working this morning. It’s ok. I could concentrate on the book I am reading better.

I had 3 coffees again  today. I really need to snap out of that.

I had a pretty productive day at work. It takes me quite a while to get going once I get to the office, sometimes as much as 2/3 hours. But once I do, I’m motoring.

My friend Liza messaged me to tell me how sad she was still feeling blue about her guy. I gave her the same advice I gave her yesterday. She seems unable to break the pattern she’s in though.

Ok, this blog is getting boring. Lets do some checks – Didn’t drink – Check. Didn’t smoke – Check. Went to the gym – Check.

Oh here is something. I deleted Tinder and Bumble from my phone  impulsively. There is too much a temptation these days to feel lonely and sad, and immediately go scrambling for companionship. And when you don’t find it, you feel worse. It’s interesting  that social media and dating apps only really go as far as to make you feel more lonely. You feel more left out while everyone else seems to be having fun. Lets face it, the only thing Tinder has ever thought me is that I’m the only person who has never been to Macchu Picchu.

We’ll see how long it takes me to re-download them.

All in all was an alright day. Adequate. Unspectacular. On with the show.

Nice to see the readership take a little spike yesterday. Comments and thoughts welcome.


Day 4: My Friend Liza

OK, her name is not Liza… but in the interest of privacy and all that. Not that she’d ever find this. Although maybe I should send it to her.

I woke up this morning, and went to a local bar to watch the footy (soccer to US readers). I didn’t drink but I did have 3 coffees (need to kick my coffee habit), eggs and toast.

My friend Liza messaged me; she said she was feeling blue. Me and Liza had been going through dysfunctional relationships at the same time. We were both with partners that didn’t really seem to love us, but yet just kept us hanging on. I don’t know why I’m writing this in the past tense, as unfortunately her situation is still in the present. Since I’ve met her she has had her head toyed with by this guy, and she had allowed herself to be hurt by it. It’s an ongoing hurt that doesn’t end when your with someone that doesn’t care about you enough. It’s like your being constantly rejected, without the actual full on rejection. Ugh, that was me all the way.

I have given her the best advice I can give her, which is just to get out, but she seems unable to make that decision. I was exactly the same way for so long, so I can understand. But I do feel bad for her.

I need to inject some productivity back into my life. Heartbreak turmoil has really killed my motivation to do anything. Even when your with someone, you can find it hard to get motivated. After all – I have love, what else do I need? Alas when the love goes, you realize you have nothing at all. I need to really focus on putting that right.

That said,, today I managed to get a bit of work done today on a film script I’ve had in mind for donkeys years. Productivity – Check.

Got to the gym – Check. Ate well – Check. Didn’t drink – Check.

Check Check Check.

Can I get the check please?

I’m keeping a little Twitter account to go with this blog – I keep on seeing tweets from people in the same boat as me. I guess there are always new singledoms in the world. Always people having their heart broken and trying to rebuild.

Nice to see a few people liking posts. Thank you for reading. Please leave a comment if your bored.

Anyway, Day 4 was a good one.